December 2009
66 posts
Christmas Dinner
Stepmother #3: Did you hear? Some woman attacked the pope.
Grandma: Oh yeah, they’re saying she’s insane
Me: What? I don’t think she’s insane, I think she’s fucking awesome.
*awkward silence forever*
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Bon Iver - Blood Bank
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We Need a Resolution - Aaliyah
I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN PUBLIC
Me: So, do you have any kids?
Normal Human Being: Yeah, I have four. And two in heaven.
Me: Oh…that must be nice *panicks* …I mean, for the other ones!
Normal Human Being: What?
Weightlifter Gives Birth to Surprise Baby During... →
(via gawker)
I'm sorry I called you Thunder Thighs.
sevenminutesinheather:
neverforgets:
I didn’t know you could hear me.
The insult that reverberated through a group of friends and alienated us all.
And wasn’t it actually kind of a compliment…considering?
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Remember in Pleasantville when the mom jills off...
my life is trainspotting + sex and the city, fggt...
srsly. whose blood is on my clothes from last night?
Ashley Madison offers to cut fares to $2.50 on... →
(via fuckyeahtoronto)
yes please.
"...but really, who cares?? The Vietnam war...
-prettiestgirl
Critical thinkers are special.
Fuuuuuuuuuck space scares the hell out of me
sade:
If I were an astronomer I’d spend most of my time curled up in the corner rocking back and forth, yelling at anyone who came near me.
“WHAT ARE WE? NOTHING! DUST! JUST KILL YOURSELF!”
Grocery store:
Lady beside me in line: You know I just think it’s disgusting. You see that guy in the wheelchair outside? People give him money and all he does is buy BEER with it! Me: Well people in wheelchairs need to drink too right?
Lady: *glares* Not beer.
Me: Vodka is pretty expensive though. I think he’s making a good choice.
Lady: He sould not be buying any alcohol!
Me: What? You...